literature

Intelligent Life.

Deviation Actions

QaletaqaHania's avatar
Published:
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Literature Text

They are on their way.
Let’s send a message about who we are.
How much we care.
Show them life is fair.
How we shoot people every day.

We will wait, but until;
Let’s be ourselves.
Let’s kill.

And when they are here.
Let’s show them who we are.
How much we care.
Show them life is fair.
"Did we disappear?"
© 2015 - 2024 QaletaqaHania
Comments5
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RUNWAY-ANGEL1's avatar
:star::star::star::star-half::star-empty: Overall
:star::star::star::star-half::star-empty: Vision
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Originality
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Technique
:star::star::star-half::star-empty::star-empty: Impact

I really like this piece! Very simply written but holds so much more gravity to it. I think the ambiguity adds a bit as well. If i could offer a suggestion - maybe elaborate just a bit as far as the shooting, and maybe a bit into why it is done. Whether you explain it as human nature or other, i think it'll add to your perspective, and allow the audience to make more personal connection to your work. Other than that, i think your message is well done, just needs a bit of personal touch and some elaboration. I love the last line, though.